Aerosmith – “Cocked locked and Ready to bomb tour”- C’mon guys!

God, where do I even start?
 
When I pay out good money for a “Class” stadium band, I expect to be blown away.
Instead we left during the encores, deflated, disappointed and bored.
 
And 45 plus lady sitting behind me with 2 teenaged daughters set the scene/mood for the evening I guess: Tanked up rough brassy old broads with skin tight jeans and huge bellies should not draw attention to themselves like that (take it from one who knows! – minus the big belly)
 
Screaming “I love you Steve” and “Come to Mama” would’ve been more appropriate when the actual band came on ….
Thank you for sloshing warm beer all over me during the performance. Good job I didn’t get pulled over by the police during the drive home – I smelt like a brewery.
Oh, and about the ear bleeding finger whistling competition you decided to have with the guy in front; initially I was impressed, then you just got on my nerves, and this morning I swear my ear drums have been damaged. Did you really need to pick on the guys selling popcorn and beer; they were simply doing their jobs.
 
Ten out of Ten for enthusiasm though, although, either she wore herself out or even her ardor was dampened by the evening’s performance.
 
Sammy Hagar -ex Van Halen front-man – REALLY?…. I mean really?
I did wonder if he was nipping off to the beach anytime soon, White cut-offs and white baggy T-shirt, sunglasses and what looked like red “crocs” do not a rock star make. Methinks they were hiding a multitude of middle-aged sin!
Full marks for impressive display of energy and oomph and for revving up the little audience there was at that point.
 
I often wonder what it must feel like to have been lead of a headlining band yourself, and have to chuck yourself around the stage warming up a half empty stadium for a still hugely successful and iconic 80’s band. Dunno, but hey he’s still doing his thing – and with style.
 
Air Canada Centre – Sound technicians should be SACKED or at least have sat in on Michael Buble’s gig last week where the sound was pitch and level perfect for both bands.
The appalling sound quality took soooo much away from the performance.
As far as I am aware, Sammy Hagar’s band members consisted of “whawhawhawhaaaaa”; “whawhawhawhaaaaa”  and “whawhawhawhaaaaa”
The acoustics were tinny, distorted and unbalanced with a muddy base. Just awful….
 
Aerosmith – Something terribly wrong with the format of this show:
 
Honestly, they could benefit from a performance 101 lesson, going back to basics and sitting in the audiences of seasoned solid smaller acts like “Crowded House” and “Jamie Cullum”, who know how to engage the audience and whose shows are always fresh and interesting. A better comparison in terms of Stadium bands would be Bon Jovi – who never disappoint and in July this year whipped the Rogers centre audience (much larger than the ACC) into frenzy!
 
A smattering of the big hits interspersed with mind-numbingly protracted, up-yer-bum indulgent solo performances. AND where was “Dude look like a Lady” c’monnnnnn – oh maybe they did come back and perform this after we left during the end of the encore thereby stretching the agony out to a full 2 hours?
 
And to add insult to injury my “I don’t want to miss a thing”, my favourite all-time rock ballad and theme tune to “Armageddon” written for daughter Liv was churned out at breakneck speed.
 
Steve Tyler’s chemistry with his “toxic twin” Joe Perry belied the fact that the two have recently been feuding over all sorts of issues and that earlier this year Joe Perry had been casting around for a replacement lead singer for Steve Tyler.
 
Aerosmith without Steve Tyler – are you kidding…..
 
So despite the recent rumors that  – amongst other things –  he was leaving the band following leg surgery (blamed on years of performing); you’d never have known there was a ligament out of place on that body. He performed like a Rock God with a dynamic and charismatic performance, those awesome cheekbones, abs and voice (notice the order).Not many 62 year old men can jump around the stage with their shirt open. Actually not many 62 year old men can “jump” around the stage period.
Shame his efforts were diminished by the overall quality of the show
 
Did he stage a repeat of his famous audience dive in the first five minutes of the show? Not sure, he looked pretty solid on his feet when he performed perilously close to the edge of the stage promontory for most of the performance, AND neither he nor the folks he fell into looked especially ruffled by the experience. Will have to read this morning’s write-ups.. ….
 
Oh and FYI, Steve, don’t look at your watch towards the end of your performance. You are a “rock star” not a telesales operative.
Over and Out.
 
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